And then there was one.

I have now finished 11/12 treatments.

Recently I have done a terrible job documenting this process. It's hard. not really emotionally or anything like that. It is just difficult to write about the same thing over and over and over and over.

The treatments have all started to run together. I get stuck, pumped with poison, feel terrible for seven days, feel good for seven days, repeat.

Over and over and over and over.

As much as I hate sounding repetitive, I assume most people who do view this story will also grow bored with the repetitive storyline. So, I left it out and have re-begun here.

The story goes...
My weight has stabilized. In total, I have lost roughly 25-35 pounds depending on when I decide I began getting sick.

I still have hair. In fact, I had to get a hair cut a few weeks ago because it looked so silly. My hair has thinned, but luckily my genetic code did me a huge solid and hooked me up. I really appreciate that.

My blood counts have also stabilized. They have been consistently just below normal for weeks. I am still technically anemic, but once the chemo is finished, it should return to the non-anemic range. As a result, when I do feel good, I feel great. I tend to feel better than I had the many months leading up to my diagnosis.

It feels good to feel good again.

So, here we are. Number 11. One to go. Then, who knows.





Clearly, this has been this most difficult thing I have ever experienced in my life. I will be 30 later this year. Maybe this can be an early happy birthday gift. What a landmark experience for a landmark year...

Happy Birthday, you beat cancer.

Is it too soon to say that? I will admit, it makes me extremely nervous to talk about it in terms of "beating it".

I have one more treatment left. And I am scared beyond belief. There are so many uncertainties. I am frustrating myself because I have done so well ignoring the uncertainties before and just fighting through it all. Just put everything into the hands of God and Dr. Spivey. But now that we are nearing the end I can only worry more.

What will the PET say? Will the cancer stay away? Am I going to have to go through all of this again?

Sucks. Cancer sucks. And so does all the BS that comes with life after cancer. But then again, that should be the thing that I focus on... Life.

 The road to this point has been difficult. Busy.

I have been working a lot. It's great because it provides normalcy. However, it is exhausting. I tend to go over the top in the classroom and have a hard time sitting down. I probably didn't rest as much as I should have, but that's just not my personality.

Over doing it at home and at school probably led me to the hospital with pneumonia. That was a fun week. Filled with a painful cough and a tornado scare that made the hospital patents sit in the hallway outside of our rooms for two hours. That went well.

After my stint in the hospital, my sick leave days became all screwed up. My plan to end the year was completely jacked. In the end, I had to work more and rest less.

But hey, isn't that life?

The hardest part about coming back to work has been the students. They have been great. Amazing. Supportive. And it is hard to face them, because I never feel like I deserve it.

The school I work at gets a bum rap. Some former teachers and people on the outside say that the students just don't care and they can't be reached. Not only do I whole heartedly disagree, but it is hard for me to imagine working anywhere else now because of the students. This is my school now too. I am a part of them.

I have teared-up more in the past month and a half from students than almost that first month after my diagnosis.

During a faculty follies assembly a few weeks back, I was, unknowingly, recognized and presented with a cancer survivor T-Shirt. I was beckoned up to the stage to a standing ovation from the student body. I lost it.

I cannot even describe the roar and ovation. I cannot deserve all of that.

Teacher appreciation week hit me hard. I received over 100 letters. Some from students I have never even taught. Their words were kind and full of genuine love and appreciation. The one that really got me was from a student that I have taught and coached since he was a freshman (he is graduating this year). It read, "If I had an older brother I would want him to be like you." It may not seem like much, but after getting to know this student for four years, his personality, his home life... it was the best card I could have received.

My students are taking the end of the year hard this year. Well, about as hard as students ready for summer can take it.

I am taking a new position within my district next year that will take me out of the normal classroom setting. It is a great opportunity for me to grow as a teacher and within the district. But I do have those that wish I hadn't taken it. Mostly so that they can have me in class next year.

I wish I could have them too.

This has been a very emotionally draining semester.

There have also been some difficult challenges and situations in regards to work and my "situation". However, those are negatives, and I do not need to dwell on the negatives. It happened and there is nothing I can do about it. I can just focus on the future.



My next chemo treatment will be Wednesday, June 18th. Then, I should get another PET mid to late July. Of course, I wish it was sooner. I've been playing this game for what feels like forever. 

What's one more month? 

Besides an eternity.



I want so bad for this to be over, but I also know it will never be. There will just be a new phase of the journey. In less than a month I get to start post-cancer. those details should be outlined more in the upcoming weeks. Nevertheless, whatever that life means for me, I am ready. I am a stronger person than I was before. I am #StrongerThanCancer, and I am about to prove it.